Kento of the Jungle
by Shadow of Arashi
Summary: My god... it's a very old, stupid fic I wrote yeaaaaars ago. It's silly and downright lame but oh well. *sighs* Just read, I can't even summary this... and I don't even know if the rating is right *bangs head against the nearest wall* Oh at a last warnin


Kento of the Jungle

Kento of the Jungle

  
Author's notes : Ok, the people who know what I'm writing already know that it will be yaoi, so I don't need to say it again. Just take in consideration that I was on sugar high when I wrote this, so please don't kill me. And it's one of my older works which seem to be funny at the time but now I don't like it as much so, if that didn't scared you away already, go ahead. Don'tflame please, I'm not making any money off of it and the Ronins don't belong to me. They belong to each others ^_^ I just hope Seiji  
won't try to kill me… x_x   
  
**Seiji **: Shadow ! ! !  
  
**Shadow **: See what I mean ? (sigh)  
  
**Seiji **: Shadow! What the hell is that fic you wrote!! Do you want my death?  
  
**Shadow **: No Seiji, I don't want your death…  
  
**Seiji** : (muttered) Could have fooled me . . .  
  
**Shadow** : Why thank you.  
  
**Seiji** : You are hopeless.  
  
**Shadow** : I know.   
  
**Seiji** : (slap forehead) I'm doomed . . .  
  
**Shadow** : Whatever. Now leave, I have a fic to write.  
  
**Seiji** : But Shadow, you just can't do THAT to me!   
  
**Shadow **: What can I say, I love drags!   
  
**Seiji** : She is hopeless and crazy . . .  
  
**Shadow **: After all this time I thought that you have figured it out already.  
  
**Seiji** : -.-;   
  
**Shadow** : Now on with the show!  
  
  
A legend said that a man, half monkey and half human lives in the heart of the forest. He protects all the animals and nature and of course, you all have understood, it's (cough) Kento of the Jungle. (author seeks desperately her monkey man)   
  
**Kento** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (falls from a tree and lands face down on the ground)  
Why did Rowen throw me out of this tree??!!! If I find him I'm going to kill him!  
  
**Shadow** : (hits Kento with her Chibi Frying Pan of Insanity) Your character!   
  
**Kento** : What character? And why am I wearing leaves instead of pants?  
  
**Shadow** : (starts to be very pissed of) You didn't read the script, now did you?!   
  
**Kento** : (blinks) Script? What script?  
  
**Shadow** : @_@ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! (breathes deeply) Drop it.   
  
(back on her story) So Kento of the Jungle was living in the forest. He had been raised by a female monkey since his birth, and Kento quickly showed an unusual strength for a human child. His best friend was another monkey called Shin.  
  
**Shin** : Why of all people I have to be Chita!  
  
**Shadow** : You are not Chita!  
  
**Shin** : It's the same.  
  
**Shadow** : God help me . . . STAY IN YOUR CHARACTERS!! ALL OF YOU!!  
  
**Shin** : Yes mum . . .  
  
(BONG)  
  
  
**Shadow **: (looks down at the now out cold Shin) Oops . . . sorry . . . Don't mind me, I have a little problem right now with my actors . . .  
  
So Kento's best friend was a monkey called Shin (looks at Shin with the Heero Glare) and he and his friend were living in peace in their jungle, until something unexpected change their life dramatically. A boat from America had arrived in the jungle and among the people on the boat was Lord Talpa (don't ask, just . . . don't) and his (cough cough) daughter (cough cough) Seiji.  
  
**Seiji** : Shadow, remind me to kill you when your fic is over would you?  
  
**Shadow** : Oo;; Err, I will. Don't worry . . .   
  
(back on her story wondering if she will actually finish it) And his daughter who is in fact a boy, but since Seiji is irresistible in drag Seiji is wearing a dress.   
  
**Seiji** : Is it true that I look good in drag?  
  
**Shadow** : (purr) Perfect . . .  
  
**Seiji** : O.O Eeep . . .   
  
(blush) So Lord Talpa and his "daughter" had came to spend their holidays in an exotic country and Seiji had chosen the jungle. Lord Talpa, who couldn't refuse anything to his "daughter", had accepted.  
  
**Seiji** : Can I go and see more of this wonderful vegetation, (roll his eyes) Father? (sickly sugary sweet voice promising death for Shadow)  
  
**Talpa** : Of course sweetie. (smiles form ear to ear and tries to see under Seiji's dress)  
  
**Seiji** : (in a icy voice) Thanks.  
  
And Seiji left for the deep forest, alone. In the meantime Kento was playing with his friend Shin.  
  
**Kento** : Yeah! This is fun! I think I get it now. I'm beginning to like this fic!  
  
**Shin** : Yeah right Kento . . .  
  
**Kento** : Ok if you don't want me around I'm leaving. (disappears in the forest)  
  
**Shadow** : Where are you going?!  
  
**Kento** : In the forest. That was in the script wasn't it?  
  
**Shadow** : Yes, but . . .  
  
**Kento** : Well if you agree with me, let me go.  
  
**Shadow** : O.o?? You managed to read the script in 5 minutes?  
  
**Kento** : Of course.   
  
**Shadow** : Wouah . . .  
  
(ok . . . no comment, I will finish it, don't give up now, Shadow . . .) So, Kento had left his friend and was now currently playing hide-and-seek with the other animals in a small clearing when by a happy coincidence, (**Seiji** : coincidence my ass! **Shadow** : Shut up!) Seiji happened to pass by that same clearing.   
  
**Seiji** : (in a very cold, very irritated voice) Oh, what a lovely sight. (muttered under his breath) Damn dress!  
  
**Kento** : (arrives on the stage and sees Seiji) Wouah! Seiji, what the hell are you doing in a dress?  
  
**Shadow** : (hits Kento with the CFPOI) I thought you had read your script!   
  
**Kento** : I did! But, I didn't read anywhere that Seiji was wearing woman's clothes!  
  
**Shadow** : (gives up and starts tearing her hair out and cursing her life)  
  
**Seiji** : (tries to shift back to character mode) Who are you?  
  
**Kento** : But Seiji, you know who I'm . . . (hit by Seiji) Itai! What was that for?!  
  
**Seiji** : Your character!  
  
**Shadow** : Thank you Seiji . . .  
  
**Kento** : Oops, I'm sorry. (switches back to character mode) I'm Kento de la jungle. Who are you?  
  
**Seiji** : Seiji (rolls his eyes) as if it wasn't obvious . . .  
  
**Shadow** : Seiji . . .  
  
**Seiji** : Sorry.  
  
**Kento** : (still in his character and oblivious of the scene in front of him) You aren't from here are you?   
  
**Seiji** : No. But you, where do you came from?   
  
**Kento** : From the forest!  
  
**Seiji** : You mean you live in the forest?  
  
**Kento** : Yes.  
  
**Seiji** : Cool! Can I go with you?  
  
**Kento** : (grins) If you want, princess.  
  
**Seiji** : (blushes bright red) Oooh . . .Kento . . .  
  
**Kento** : (takes Seiji by the waist before catching a liana from a nearby tree) Let's go!   
  
**Shadow** : (looks at the two retreating troopers completely stunned) That . . . that wasn't in the script!!  
  
(shakes head and gets back to her story) Well, while Kento and Seiji was in the jungle, Lord Talpa had hired two hunters (in his daughter's absence of course, we all know that his daughter loves animals) to catch an exotic animal as a trophy. It was one of Talpa's purposes, since his arrival in fact. The two hunters, after Talpa had explained their mission to them, left and started looking for their prey.   
  
**Ryo** : Eh Rowen, how long do you think we will have to wait?  
  
**Rowen** : I don't know. Not long I believe. Our trap is ready so don't worry, be patient.  
  
**Ryo** : Are you sure it will work? (looks at the bait suspiciously, the bait being a goldfish in a goldfishbowl)  
  
**Rowen** : Of course! Your trust is touching really . . . (stops and turns his head to the right) Quiet! Our prey is here!  
  
And indeed Shin had shown up.  
  
**Shin** : (notices the goldfish) Oh! Poor thing!  
  
Shin runs to the goldfish.  
  
**Rowen** : Now! (jumps on Shin with a rope) We caught him!  
  
**Ryo** : Wonderful! You are a genius!  
  
**Rowen** : I know.  
  
**Ryo** : Not you silly! The goldfish. We wouldn't have captured this monkey without his help.  
  
**Rowen** : O.o ;;  
  
**Shadow** : (falls on the ground rolling and crying with laughter)  
  
**Shin**: Ryo! Rowen! What are you doing to me?!  
  
**Ryo** : ??! I didn't know that monkeys could talk!  
  
**Shin** : GRR! Ryo! It's me, Shin!  
  
**Ryo** : Shin?! Why are you a monkey all of a sudden?  
  
**Shin** : Giku!  
  
**Rowen** : Stop! Ryo, Shin is a monkey for Shadow's fic. We are the hunters.  
  
**Shin and Ryo** : Oh.  
  
**Rowen** : Well, now we have to put Shin in a cage.  
  
**Shin** : (glances uneasily at both Rowen and Ryo) Um guys, why did you have to capture me in the first place?  
  
**Rowen** : For Shadow's fic. But do not fear, we aren't going to hurt you. (grins in a hungry, not so nice way)  
  
**Ryo** : He's right. You will be treated like a princess. (licks his lips while looking at Shin as if he were a steak)  
  
**Shin** : (starts to panick) Oh oh... KentoOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  
  
Unluckily for poor Shin, Kento was far from being able to rescue him, busy as he was showing his world to his new friend.   
  
**Seiji** : (looks around with starry eyes for the sake of the author) That's very interesting . . .  
  
**Kento** : I know. (steps closer to Seiji) We could drop that part and jump to the next, what do you think?  
  
**Seiji** : (surprised) Why?  
  
**Kento** : (whispers in Seiji's ear) Because this one is much more better and enjoyable . . .  
  
**Seiji** : (still doesn't get it) And what is in next part?  
  
**Kento** : Don't worry, I will show you. You have nothing to do except moaning.  
  
**Seiji** : (totally lost) Moaning?  
  
**Kento **: Yes. (jumps on Seiji and drags him dehind a bush)  
  
**Seiji** : Ah! Kento! Unnn!  
  
**Shadow** : (arrives running on the stage) Eh! Kento! What are you doing?! You missed a scene! (peeks behind the bush, blushes and leaves quickly, then looks at the ground) Woah . . . Kento is pretty fast . . . Poor Seiji, he got caught once again. He never stand a chance I guess . . . (raises her head just in time to see Seiji's dress flying above her head) Huh? (looks once again behind the bush and gasps) Oh my . . . And I don't have my camera . . . What a shame . . . Seiji seems to be enjoying it, anyway. (Looks suddenly at the reader and blushes even more, if possible) Sorry about that, I will be back in a second. (disappears for a second, then comes back on a scooter with a helmet on her head, a huge warning board and a megaphone) Misses and gentlemen, your attention please. The scene which is playing right now isn't for children or for too innocent souls. So, if you think you cannot handle it, I will ask you to leave. I won't be responsible for any sequels you may have later. But if you want, you are free to stay and to imagine what's going on behind this bush. Mesdemoiselles messieurs votre attention s'il vous plaît . . .  
  
**Kento** : (looks up from his bush at the author then gets back on Seiji who is, effectively, moaning under him.)  
  
(has dropped the scooter) While Kento and Seiji were getting to "know each other" better, Lord Talpa was waiting the return of his daughter.  
  
**Shadow** : (arrives on the stage and sees Shin who is sitting on top of Rowen and Ryo) What happened here? A tsunami?  
  
**Shin** : (licks his fingers) Nothing. I just kicked Rowen and Ryo's ass for trying to put me in a cage, among others things. Where is Kento?  
  
**Shadow** : (understands and looks at Rowen and Ryo with a amused look on her face) Still with Seiji.  
  
**Shin** : Seiji? What are they doing, that's taking them so long?  
  
**Shadow** : Making out.  
  
**Shin** : O.o; I see . . . You are sick, my poor Shadow.  
  
**Shadow** : I know! ^_^  
  
**Shin** : . . .  
  
**Seiji and Kento** : (arrive looking flushed and sweaty, then look at everybody on the stage)  
  
**Seiji** : What happened?  
  
**Shin** : NOTHING.  
  
**Kento** : If you say so. What now?  
  
**Shadow** : Seiji and Talpa have to go back to America with Kento because Seiji doesn't want to leave him.  
  
**Seiji** : I don't remember that. Shouldn't it be "I have to leave with Talpa but I don't want to, Talpa forces me to leave, Kento saves me and we live happily ever after?"  
  
**Kento** : That's fine by me!  
  
**Shin** : I could have told you that . . .  
  
**Talpa** : If it's in the script . . . (takes a fatherly pose) Seiji, my daughter, we must leave.  
  
**Seiji** : (gazes at Talpa with the Death Glare) No.  
  
**Talpa** : Too bad. (throws Seiji on his shoulder and leaves)  
  
**Seiji** : (screaming and kicking) Put me down! Let me go! Kento, help me!  
  
**Kento** : But . . . but he is leaving! With MY Seiji!  
  
**Rowen and Ryo** : YOUR Seiji?!!  
  
**Kento** : (snatches the CFPOI from Shadow's hands who is too stunned to react and hits Talpa with it. Talpa drops to the ground, out cold) Serves you right! (turns to Seiji) Are you ok?  
  
**Seiji** : Yes, thanks Kento.  
  
**Kento** : Don't need to thank me. We should finish that story now, don't you think? hum?  
  
**Seiji** : (raises eyebrow) Are you thinking what I am thinking when you said "finish?"  
  
**Kento** : (grins from ear to ear) Yes.  
  
**Seiji** : (observes Kento for a second, thinks then grins back at Kento) Ok.  
  
**Kento** : Great! (takes Seiji is his arms like a newlywed couple and leaves with Seiji kissing him passionately)   
  
**Shadow** : Errr . . . it wasn't the end of the script but it's still an end I guess. Anyway I finished my story! I managed to do it finally! Despite some incompetents actors and other troubles, I did it! (turns around to leave, only to come face to face with a bunch of very angry troopers)  
  
**Shin, Rowen, Ryo and Talpa** : (menacing) Shadow . . .   
  
**Shadow** : Errrr . . . yes?  
  
**Rowen** : (looks ready to kill) Incompetents actors?  
  
**Shin** : (raise his fist) Others troubles?  
  
**Shadow** : (giggles nervously) Don't be mad guys . . . It's part of the deal ya know.  
  
**Shin, Rowen, Ryo and Talpa** : Really?  
  
**Shadow** : Errr... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs for her life like she had the devil himself on her tail)  
  
**Shin, Rowen, Ryo and Talpa** : (chases Shadow around the place)  
  
**Shadow** : I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today! (turns to the reader) Bye! See you later, if I'm still alive!  
  
**Shin, Rowen, Ryo and Talpa** : Shadow!  
  
**Shadow** : EEEEP!  


  


THE END


End file.
